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for _mixed_media_ - fic - Everything Is As [Brian/Emmett] [Mar. 31st, 2005|05:15 pm]
Everything Is As
For _mixed_media_

Pairing: Brian/Emmett
Summary: Since then I've been so good at vanishing
Rating: R

The knock came at 3:53 am. Emmett was expecting it.

“Please don’t tell me you’ve been at Babylon all this time,” he said as he opened the door. “Even you can only fuck so much.”

Brian brushed past him, into the apartment, and didn’t say a word. Emmett studied him. He didn’t seem to be stumbling all over himself, which meant he was probably at least marginally less fucked up than he had been a few hours ago.

Emmett sighed and closed the door. He didn’t know why Brian insisted on coming here now that Michael was in Portland.

Then again, maybe he did.

Brian tasted like Jim Beam and cigarettes. Emmett wasn’t sure how messed up he was, but he always kissed like he meant it; wet and skilled and desperate. Emmett let himself surrender to it because he always did. He couldn’t see himself resisting.

He wasn’t sure what Brian was getting out of this. Hell, he wasn’t sure what he was getting out of this. A good fuck was one thing, but Brian was doing this for some other reason, and Emmett wasn’t in on the plan. He tried to tell himself that he was just being a good friend – helping Brian in a way that Brian would let him, but he was pretty sure that was a lie. He wasn’t helping Brian at all.

Which made all these late night encounters kind of … pointless. Completely pointless.

Emmett always found himself searching for something from Brian. Something in the way he kissed or the way he ran his hands over Emmett’s skin or the way he pushed him back onto the bed and used his fingers to open Emmett up slowly and torturously until Emmett was panting and grasping at the sheets and begging for it with his hips.

But there was never anything there. Brian was barely there.

No matter how good a fuck it was, the high of orgasm never lasted long. When they were finished Emmett was left feeling awkward and guilty with his face in Brian’s neck.

Brian smelled like clubs, like cigarettes and alcohol, sweat, and sex. He smelled faintly of expensive cologne, fancy soap, and aftershave. But underneath all of it, he smelled sick, like hospitals and blood.

Emmett had a fleeting thought that maybe the blood had soaked into Brian’s skin that night, and now it was a part of him. Maybe now, Brian would always smell like blood, just a little bit.

Emmett shook the thought away and sat up.

“Are you staying?” he asked. His voice sounded strange, even to himself.

“No,” Brian said shortly, and got up from the bed. Emmett didn’t bother to push it further. He had tried, those first couple of nights, and had the door slammed in his face for his trouble.

Emmett watched Brian button up his pants and wondered how long this was going to go on. Would Brian spend the rest of his life getting wasted and fucking Emmett at four in the morning?

“Sweetie, maybe you should –“

“Shut. Up.” Brian’s voice was low and dangerous, and Emmett shut up. Brian grabbed the rest of his clothing and stalked to the door.

He should let it go. Emmett knew he should let it go, and not make Brian mad, and if he wanted things to change then he should stop answering his door when Brian knocked.

But he couldn’t stop himself. He got between Brian and the door. He looked Brian in the eye and refused to flinch at what he saw there.

“Why are you doing this?”

Brian was the first to look away. He shoved Emmett aside, and when he spoke, his voice was harsh.

“When your boytoy breaks,” he said, “you get a new toy.”

He opened the door and was gone before Emmett could think of anything to say.

[User Picture]From: dorset77
2005-04-02 08:02 am (UTC)
Woo. I always hated Emmett saying that. Nicely done and so something Brian would do.
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[User Picture]From: chelsea193
2005-04-02 11:03 am (UTC)
Very nicely done!
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[User Picture]From: aurora_84
2005-04-02 02:12 pm (UTC)
This broke me! Such beautiful angst... :((

“When your boytoy breaks,” he said, “you get a new toy.”
But what a great idea to use that line here, especially since it sounded so cruel coming out of Em's mounth in 201. I didn't really think it was something he agreed with.

I'm impressed.
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[User Picture]From: mcpofife
2005-04-02 05:51 pm (UTC)
I like the concept. I am very :-? about this. I have no clue who wrote it.
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[User Picture]From: cindybaby
2005-04-02 10:14 pm (UTC)
“When your boytoy breaks,” he said, “you get a new toy.”

Poor, poor, Brian.

Great work.
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[User Picture]From: chase820
2005-04-03 03:44 am (UTC)
I've always had a secret fondness for Brian and Emmett together, and hardly ever see any fics that address the pairing. So I was thrilled to find this one. You capture both their voices perfectly, and your descriptions--especially of Brian--are really evocative. Just a lovely ficlet overall. Thanks so much for posting it.
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[User Picture]From: snooks_md
2005-04-22 07:43 pm (UTC)
Actually, early on, there were quite a few Brian/Emmett fics because of people's speculating/assuming that they had slept together at some point in the past. Check out Across the Pond; I know there are several there.

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[User Picture]From: chase820
2005-04-22 11:18 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the info. I'll do that. :)
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[User Picture]From: _mixed_media_
2005-04-03 09:08 pm (UTC)
OMG apologies for not commenting before this, but I LOVE IT SO. I've always wondered what exactly was happening over that summer, and this is such a perfect solution.

Emmett had a fleeting thought that maybe the blood had soaked into Brian’s skin that night, and now it was a part of him. Maybe now, Brian would always smell like blood, just a little bit.

Thank you!!
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From: vedaprophet
2005-04-04 03:14 am (UTC)
omg SO BRILL! wow. kinda broke me a lil!! And I can SO see it happening too. it's very canon and realistic!! Fantastic job!! ♥ Sorry, no guesses as to who wrote this, just saying I adore it!! :D
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[User Picture]From: honeyspider16
2005-04-04 05:15 am (UTC)
this is awesome. you got the voices perfectly. i loved this: "He looked Brian in the eye and refused to flinch at what he saw there." so emmette. it's hard to emagine why those two would be together, but this really makes sence. i love brian's response, too. perfect. thank you.
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[User Picture]From: mcfeste
2005-04-04 11:54 pm (UTC)
Huh. That's a really fascinating take. Most of me believes that no way would Brian fuck Emmett all that summer, but the part of me that's willing to consider it as a possibility believes that this is how it would have happened. I love the last line of dialogue -- what a way to bring it back to canon. Great work.
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[User Picture]From: exsequar
2005-04-12 03:28 am (UTC)
Oh, Brian and Emmett... I went searching for fic in hopes of happy friendship maybe tinged with fucking... but I find this! Wow. Very intense and emotional. Poor Brian. Poor Emmett. What a fucked up world this is.

Very well done.
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From: romi127
2013-01-05 08:45 am (UTC)

Dear pulsefic
I have just read your fanfic "Everything Is As", and it is really great! Thank you very much for writing it!
I wanted to send you a private message, but unfortunately I failed, so I'm just trying to ask you here.

Would you mind, if I translate this fic into Russian language and publish it on a Russian QAF fansite? I will state everywhere that I am just a translator and you are the author of the fic. Also, all the additional information (like your email or website) can be published, if you wish.

Thank you once again for your wonderful work!

I hope to hear from you soon.

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