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for burnitbackwards - fic - Today I Woke Up Uncertain [Justin/Cody] [Mar. 31st, 2005|09:13 pm]
Today I Woke Up Uncertain
For burnitbackwards

Pairing: justin/cody
Summary: three short stories about cody bell
Rating: R

It's an unseasonably cold day even for January, and the glare from the sun on the jungle gym is making Justin hate life as he tries to keep an eye on Gus while staying away as far as possible from the glut of toddlers with dirty faces roaming around the playground. Gus is playing on a metal bear sculpture that makes musical notes. Justin's phone rings, and he answers it without looking.


"What's up?" It's Cody. "I thought we could go over Posse strategy -- I got hot dogs."

"I can't," says Justin. "I'm babysitting. Besides, didn't we just have a strategy meeting this morning?"

"Babysitting? I thought you worked at that fag diner," says Cody.

"I do, but --" Justin sees the little girl who's playing with Gus put a pile of dead leaves in her mouth and start to cry. Gus watches her for a moment and then backs away slowly in Justin's direction. "Cody, I have to go. I should be through in like an hour."

An hour later, Gus is safely back at home, and Cody calls again.

"So, you like kids," says Cody.

"Not really," says Justin. "I just take care of Brian's sometimes. He's really cool."

"Brian has a kid? Like an adopted Cambodian baby, or a real one?"

"Um," says Justin. "Where are you?"

"Outside your apartment. I think your bitch housemate is there but she won't answer the bell."

"He tried to make me eat an old hotdog," says Justin that evening, to his mother.

"Did you say 'old,' or 'cold'?" says his mother.

"Well, it was both. Old and cold. I don't know, I just think he's weird."

"Honey, I'm hardly the person to talk to if objectivity is what you want. I think -- well, why don't you just talk to Daphne? Or Brian?"

"He's already totally said insulting things about Brian and Daphne, so I can't talk to them. And I don't have any other friends," said Justin. He paused. "I mean, except you."

"Thanks Justin," said his mother.

The wind is kind of brutal as Justin runs across the parking lot from Cody's truck. On the way back from the shooting range, they'd passed an off-season 4-H fair. Cody was sure they'd have something to eat and Justin agreed, mostly because of the three big plastic cups of beer he'd had at the shooting range snack bar after he got his bullseye.

In his bag, next to his cell phone, is the gun Cody had given him. He can't help but touch the gun for a second as he pulls out his cell phone to check messages. Five voicemails -- maybe he should just listen to them later. He puts the phone away and his hand brushes the gun. It's kind of hypnotic. He walks around the fair looking for Cody with a hand in his bag, just stroking it lightly.

He looks at the innocent faces of the 4-H teens and the farmy old people surrounding him and he wonders if any of them have guns in their bags. It seems kind of likely, given the demographic. He spots a tall red-haired kid in a dressy shirt over by a display of grapes who's looking back at him intently. Even if the kid doesn't want to talk about guns, he might be worth Justin's time anyway. But before Justin can make it over to him, the kid disappears in the large crowd of farm people.

Justin finally spots Cody by a cage of tiny award-winning poodles.

"What do you think," says Cody.

One of the poodles looks at Justin like it completely understands all his problems in life. The poodle has a tag in its ear that makes it look like a stuffed animal. "They're cute," says Justin.

"You're such a pussy fag," says Cody. "I'm getting some cotton candy -- do you want any?"

"Um," says Justin. He looks at the poodle again and he's pretty sure it winks at him. He thinks about asking Cody for another beer, but when he looks up, Cody is gone.

Justin touches the gun again and then smells his fingers. They smell like metal. He walks around a little bit until he finds the table with the grapes where he'd seen the hot red-haired kid. The kid is still missing, and an old farm dad is standing in his place.

"Are these free?" Justin asks.

"Sure are," says the farm dad. Justin grabs a bunch of grapes before he notices the farm dad holding out a little cup-full.

"Oh, sorry," says Justin, and he walks away with the stolen grapes.

Justin finds Cody in the men's room a few minutes later. Cody is standing in front of the mirror and licking his gun. Justin watches him for a minute. Cody is being pretty thorough.

"Are you licking your gun?" Justin finally says.

Cody looks startled. "I'm just cleaning it."

Justin puts his gun away and feels Cody watching him. He puts the grapes down on top of the hand dryer.

"Um," says Cody, "Do you want me to suck you off?"

Justin leans up against the bathroom door and reaches back to bolt it. "Sure," he says.

Cody sets his gun down, gently, next to the grapes, and drops to his knees.

Cody has like the perfect blowjob technique for a 4-H fair bathroom -- a little bit desperate and aggressive, like he's used to time-sensitive situations behind revival tents and hunting cabins. Cody has his hands on Justin's stomach. Justin covers them with his own hands, but then he notices that Cody's hands are kind of sticky. He moves his hands to Cody's head and watches him. From above, Cody kind of looks like Justin -- shaved head, too-big cargo pants -- so it looks kind of like Justin is sucking himself off. He comes right then, and then watches while Cody jerks off.

"Why are your hands so sticky?" says Justin.

"Cotton candy," says Cody. "I can get more."

"That's okay," says Justin.

They wash their hands in the giant sink, and that's when there's a knock on the door, a farm-dad voice saying "hello?"

"Motherfucking straight assholes," says Cody, under his breath. "Let's get out of here.
"I think I should put these grapes back," says Justin. Cody gives him a look of disgust.

Back in the car Justin finally checks his messages. There are seven now, all from Brian. Four of them aren't actual messages, just hang-ups or a few seconds of Ted or Cynthia talking in the background followed by the click of the receiver. The other three are increasingly annoying inquiries about Justin's whereabouts, culminating with one in which Brian says "your mother won't stop calling me."

Justin calls his mother.

"You can stop calling Brian, I'm fine," he says.

"I wasn't calling Brian," his mother says.

"Oh. Never mind." He hated Brian.

"Justin honey, what's going on? Where are you?"

"Everything is fine," says Justin. "I should go."

Cody slams on the breaks as a mother and two children attempt to cross the parking lot. He hits the horn. "Motherfuckers," Cody yells.

"Bye, mom," says Justin.

It's a perfect day in June and Justin is sunbathing on Brian's roof when the phone rings. It's Brian.

"Can you pick me up from the ball doctor in twenty minutes?"

"I suppose," says Justin.

Brian is waiting outside his doctor's office when Justin gets there.

"Come on, Gimpy," says Justin. Brian awkwardly slides into the passenger seat of the Corvette using his one good arm -- the other is in a sling from his stupid biking accident the week before -- and Justin shuts the door behind him.

"I thought we could stop for sushi," says Justin, once he's driving.

"And you could feed it to me erotically?"

"Well, I was sort of hoping you knew how to feed yourself after all these years," says Justin pensively. "But if you want me to feed you something, I'll let you suck me off later tonight."

The snobby counter girl at Justin's favorite sushi place is mean to Justin as usual, and after he pays he sits with Brian at the counter. Justin watches Brian shift around uncomfortably and thinks about how funny it is to see Brian embarrassed in public.

"Justin?" The voice comes from behind him and Justin turns. It's Cody, but with longer hair parted on the side. He's wearing a cute pink t-shirt with a silk-screened horse on the front.

"Hi Cody," says Justin. "What are you up to lately?"

"Well, I'm starting this group called the Pink Pony. It's a militant anti-domestic violence group for homos."

"That's great," says Justin. "Wow!" Behind him, Brian shifts again, dramatically. "Oh, Cody, this is Brian, my boyfriend. I don't think you guys ever met."

Cody looks at Brian and says, "Jesus, what happened to your arm?"

Brian looks back at him earnestly. "Justin pushed me down the stairs."

Justin opens his mouth.

Cody opens his mouth.

"It was just a short flight," says Brian. "I totally asked for it."

Justin nods at Cody seriously. "It's true, he totally did."

The End

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(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: dtkokoro
2005-04-01 09:20 pm (UTC)
*dies laughing*
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 03:38 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you laughed! Thanks for reading!!
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From: lardencelover
2005-04-01 09:48 pm (UTC)
*pees self laughing*
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 03:39 am (UTC)
Sorry I made you pee! :|

Thank you for reading!!
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[User Picture]From: yochi
2005-04-01 09:57 pm (UTC)
This is so Brian and so funny!
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 03:40 am (UTC)
I'm so happy that you thought so! Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: windtossed
2005-04-01 10:09 pm (UTC)
hahaha, this is hilarious. :)):))
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 03:47 am (UTC)
Thank you!!! I'm glad you enjoyed.
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[User Picture]From: cempakasari
2005-04-01 10:09 pm (UTC)
I'm smiling the whole way through my reading. burnitbackwards, you're a lucky girl.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 04:22 am (UTC)
I am the one who is lucky, because I got to write a story for the sweetest recipient ever on earth!!!! Thank you so much for reading!!!
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[User Picture]From: sogay
2005-04-01 10:38 pm (UTC)
Cody has like the perfect blowjob technique for a 4-H fair bathroom

(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 06:27 am (UTC)
:D!!!! You know it's true. Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: _alicesprings
2005-04-01 11:39 pm (UTC)
completely, 100% fan-fucking-tastic.
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 06:28 am (UTC)
thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you liked.
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[User Picture]From: mibloodapproves
2005-04-01 11:46 pm (UTC)
All of it was brill, but the last six sentences! I snarfed the powder off th donut I was eating.

*FYI, tho the look may be similar, powdered sugar up the nose does not make one euphoric. Just painfully snotty.*
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 06:37 am (UTC)
omg thank you! I was worried that people would, um, think it was in poor taste for brian to make domestic violence jokes -- but no! I'm so glad you liked. thanks for reading!
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[User Picture]From: chelsea193
2005-04-02 01:38 am (UTC)
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant!
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 06:37 am (UTC)
thank you so much! I'm happy that you enjoyed it!
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From: loud99
2005-04-02 01:44 am (UTC)
::dies laughing::
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 06:41 am (UTC)
don't die!! thank you for reading! I'm glad you liked.
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[User Picture]From: plumsuede
2005-04-02 01:57 am (UTC)
"i think i should put these grapes back"

that is fucking killing me.

this is unbelievably amazing.
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 06:44 am (UTC)
:D!!! thank you so much! I am glad that you enjoyed, and please do not die!!
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[User Picture]From: mcfeste
2005-04-02 03:45 am (UTC)
i cannot stand the brilliance of this. it hurts me, it so brill. and the last six lines are fucking priceless.
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 06:45 am (UTC)
Thank you!!! You're so nice. I'm glad that you enjoyed it!
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[User Picture]From: andtheafterglow
2005-04-02 06:31 am (UTC)
oh my god. THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER. i love, i love. i feel the need for a domesticviolence!justin icon. :D
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 06:47 am (UTC)
omg you used your SPESHUL BRAIN ICON. :|

Thank you for reading!

i feel the need for a domesticviolence!justin icon. :D

I feel like any Justin icon in which he is not smiling is ALMOST a domesticviolence!justin icon. PLEASE SEE ABOVE.
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[User Picture]From: aurora_84
2005-04-02 02:16 pm (UTC)

This is so funny and totally absurd.

And the last 6 lines are pure brilliance. :))

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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 06:49 am (UTC)
:D!! Thank you!!! Who knew that the domestic violence would be such a crowd-pleaser? I'm so happy that you liked it -- thanks for reading!
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[User Picture]From: bluegrace61
2005-04-02 03:28 pm (UTC)

Why can't moments like these be actually written *into* the show? It's so perfect!
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 06:51 am (UTC)
omg, that is so nice of you to say! thank you so much!! I'm glad that you liked it.
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[User Picture]From: mcpofife
2005-04-02 06:17 pm (UTC)
Hm, I don't know who wrote this. Maybe sweetestdrain or sogay?
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[User Picture]From: sogay
2005-04-04 11:52 pm (UTC)
Would I actually compliment MYSELF?

...okay, maybe. But! I don't have a subtle bone in my writing body, so there is no way this could have been me. I don't think. Let me check. No. Not me.
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[User Picture]From: cindybaby
2005-04-02 10:46 pm (UTC)

Great story, and that ending, too, too funny!!!!
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 08:08 am (UTC)
Thank you so much!!! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :D
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From: lizz19812003
2005-04-03 03:54 pm (UTC)


Really! What a great story! Thank you, burnitbackwards, for forcing us to come and read this. I could use a good laugh. Great writing, whoever you are!
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 08:09 am (UTC)

Re: Hilarious!

Thank you!! I'm glad that you read it and liked!
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[User Picture]From: scatterheart
2005-04-03 06:14 pm (UTC)
=)) Awesome! *dies laughing* Especially the last part - I so want to see Cody in his Pink Pony shirt! ♥

Not sure who this could be - it's something I could have seen mcpofife writing, but considering she isn't participating... no idea. *ponders*
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 08:11 am (UTC)
Thank you!! I'm glad you liked it. The Pink Pony is actually a cafe in my home city, which is... only funny to me, I guess. But anyway, I would also love to see Cody in a Pink Pony shirt. I pray for his return! :))!!!
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[User Picture]From: strlite913
2005-04-03 07:19 pm (UTC)
So funny! I was giggling throughout the whole thing.
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 08:11 am (UTC)
:D!! Thank you for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed.
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[User Picture]From: xhaleslowly
2005-04-03 09:32 pm (UTC)
Oh my God, this was so weird and fascinating and so totally good!! lol!!! The details in this were amazing - that's what totally got me. And fuck yeah, the end was *awesome*!!! lol!
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 08:27 am (UTC)
Wow, thank you so much! What a nice comment. I'm happy that you liked the details, because I do really try to write using lots of details and it's nice to hear that it "works" or whatever. :">!!!! I'm glad that you read and enjoyed!!
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(Deleted comment)
From: (Anonymous)
2005-04-05 09:07 pm (UTC)
What? Sorry, I can't hear you. I am a deaf dog.
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[User Picture]From: redbrickrose
2005-04-04 03:44 am (UTC)
Funny and strange in the best possible way.
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 08:32 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading!!! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. :D
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[User Picture]From: reeface
2005-04-04 05:06 am (UTC)
*dead* So brill.
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[User Picture]From: zeldachilds
2005-04-06 08:32 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you! I'm happy that you liked. Your icon is so HAUNTING.
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