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for zoisite84 - fic - Discovery [Ben/Justin] [Mar. 31st, 2005|09:20 pm]
For citizenjess

Pairing: Ben/Justin
Summary: Pre-Series. Justin meets Ben at St James and experiences his first taste of gay life.
Rating: NC-17

Justin and Daphne walked into their seventh period history class in giggles over a movie they had just seen the night before. They were so busy comparing favorite quotes that neither of them noticed the additional man standing at the head of the class. Their books dropped heavily onto the desks, as they finally looked up and openly gaped at the man in front of them. He was tall with prominent muscles protruding from his arms, wind tussled brown hair, and an infectious grin. Daphne had noticed Justin’s reaction but remained silent, not wanting to push Justin into sharing something he obviously wasn’t ready for.

Justin couldn’t believe how beautiful the man was and itched to grab his pencil and sketch. He could feel the rise of his pants and prayed that everyone was ignoring him, as always. Before he could obsess anymore, their regular teacher Mrs. Morris entered the classroom.

“Attention class, we have a guest professor today from Carnegie Mellon that will be speaking to us about the history of Tibet. Everyone say hello to Ben Bruckner,” Mrs. Morris instructed.

Justin was too tongue-tied to say a word and continued to stare longingly at the wet dream less than twenty feet away. He was so engrossed in the fantasies running through his head that he almost fell out of his chair when he locked eyes with the hunky professor. Ben had taken a quick glance at the class and found himself drawn in to a pair of bright blue eyes. The young blonde was absolutely beautiful and obviously cruising him. Ben willed down the erection that was already starting to form as he took in the soft inviting features. He wasn’t typically into chicken, especially the type that was most likely underage, but there was something so irresistible about that sweet angelic face. Ben shook himself out of his daze and glanced back at Mrs. Morris for instruction.

“Ben, the class is yours,” she said with a smile. Ben turned back to the class and began to speak. He covered everything he could in the allotted 50-minute period but his mind was not on the task at hand and neither was Justin’s. The whole time Ben spoke, Justin maybe heard five minutes of what he was saying. The rest of the class, his eyes were memorizing every detail of the older man’s body and replaying every second of when their eyes meeting. He could have sworn there was some sort of a spark that passed between them, something that he had never experienced before.

Class was over before Justin knew it and Daphne was practically dragging him out the door. They were almost into the hallway when Justin turned his head to sneak one more peek at the beautiful creature that would be featuring in his dreams for the foreseeable future. Unfortunately Ben had the same idea and Justin could feel the burn on his cheeks as their eyes met once again. Ben smirked at the reaction he inspired in the young blonde. There was an innocence about him that called to him and he couldn’t help wondering what his own response would have been if they had met one night on Liberty Ave. Once Justin had disappeared, Ben put away a few of his papers and headed over to the nearby men’s room. He had one period free for lunch and then two more classes to teach before the end of the day. Justin was grabbing a few books from his locker when he saw Ben cross the hallway and enter the bathroom. Daphne had rushed off to her next class but Justin was more intent on following Professor Bruckner.

Ben was just washing up when Justin stepped inside and immediately stood next to him at the nearest sink. Turning one of the knobs, Justin automatically fixed his gaze on the water coming out of the spout. Ben, on the other hand, stared openly at Justin’s reflection in the mirror. He waited anxiously for the kid to say or do something. Just when he had given up, Justin raised his head and smiled shyly into the mirror. Ben returned the grin.

“I was wondering if you intended on washing your hands until they turned into prunes,” Ben mused.

“No, I just didn’t know what to say,” Justin said shyly.

“How about your name, seeing as you already know mine.”

“It’s Justin. Justin Taylor,” he said nervously.

“Well Justin Taylor, why don’t you tell me why you followed me into the men’s room this afternoon?” Ben asked innocently.

“I…I didn’t. I mean, I didn’t mean to bother you or invade your privacy or something. I just wanted to…you know,” Justin stuttered.

“To know what?” Ben asked sweetly.

Justin’s face only got redder as he tried to think of what he should say next. He had obviously not thought any of this through before barging through the bathroom door.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything,” Ben reassured him, turning so they were finally looking directly at one another and not through a mirror.

“But I want to. I just…I have these feelings and when I saw you today everything just sorta fell into place. I think you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.”

Ben smiled warmly at the compliment. Then, before he could over think it, Ben reached over and cupped Justin’s soft cheek. Gently, he pulled the boy closer until their lips were less than an inch apart. His eyes searched Justin’s scared blues until they closed in anticipation. Ben covered the short distant between them and lightly touched their lips together. It lasted for only a brief moment but was long enough for Justin to feel the adrenalin pumping through his veins.

“I better go. Mrs. Morris is meeting me for lunch. Plus I really shouldn’t have done that. You’re a hard kid to resist.”

“I was counting on that when I followed you in.”

“Oh, the truth comes out,” Ben said with a laugh. Justin couldn’t help but giggle as well, relieved the awkwardness was over and he had finally found someone who seemed to understand him. Both of their moods were light as they exited the restroom and headed in opposite directions, whispering their good-byes as they drifted away.

It took a week of obsessing over everything that happened in that men’s room before Justin knew he had to see Professor Bruckner again. After calling information at Carnegie Mellon, Justin drove over to Ben’s office building and waited patiently for the man to get back from class. Ben was beyond shocked when he approached his door and noticed the slight blonde sitting on the floor in front of it.

“Justin, what are you doing here?” Ben asked in confusion.

“You remembered,” Justin replied happily.

It amazed Ben how something so small as remembering the kid’s name could cause him such joy. Over the past week Ben had doubted his decision to kiss him, even if it was nothing more than a peck. It had obviously been enough to spur Justin on in seeking him out. It was flattering but it was also a pretty big turn on. From the state of Justin’s jeans, he realized he wasn’t the only one and now might be a good time to take this out of a public hallway.

“Why don’t you come into my office and we can talk?” Ben offered and unlocked his door, ushering the young man inside. Justin hesitated for only a moment before following him, taking the initiative to shut and lock the down behind him. Ben raised his eyebrows in surprise. The two men just stared at one another for a few seconds, Ben silently waiting to see what the nervous young man would do next. When nothing came, Ben decided it was his turn to move things along. Although a part of him knew it would be best for him to escort the kid out and move on with his day, he couldn’t stop his mouth from saying something else.

“So when are you going to tell me why you’re here?”

Justin glanced down at the floor before meeting Ben’s gaze.

“You know why,” He answered softly.

“Maybe I do, but I want you to say it,” Ben demanded.

“I’m gay,” Justin said with a laugh, “and this is the first time I’ve ever said that out loud. I haven’t even told my best friend. But when you looked at me in that classroom I realized that I have never been more sure about anything. I honestly don’t know what I expected to happen by coming here. All I know is I had to see you again, if only to reassure myself that you felt something too when our lips met in the men’s room. That maybe I’m not the only one out there and you wanted me too. When you kissed me, it was the most amazing feeling in the world.”

As Justin spoke, he had been inching forward little by little until he was standing directly in front of Ben. His blue eyes sparkled with lust and fear. It was a heavy combination that Ben was finding hard to resist and all he wanted to do was take that fear away. So he made a decision and dropped to his knees.

“I can make you feel even better,” he said in a husky voice and quickly unbuttoned the boy’s jeans. They fell in a pool around Justin’s feet. Ben looked into his eyes once more and found the need he was looking for. He swiftly pulled down the white briefs as well and admired the long thick dick that popped out. Without waiting another second, Ben wrapped his lips around the shaft and began to move along its length. Justin moaned loudly and arched his back into the touch, grabbing fistfuls of Ben’s soft hair. Ben’s tongue caressed every vein as he attempted to bring Justin into a whole new world. The boy willingly followed, alternating his moans between loud guttural sounds and heavy gasps for air.

Ben was enjoying the sweet melodies pouring out of the innocent little blonde. It was an amazing high and he intended on revisiting this moment tonight when he hit the baths. It didn’t take long for Justin to reach his climax and Ben took every drop, as the boy shook above him. Once he had milked every little bit, Ben carefully tucked Justin back into his jeans and buttoned him up. When he was standing again, Ben couldn’t help but enjoy the glazed expression on Justin’s face.

“Much better,” Justin said dreamily.

“I figured and that’s just a preview of what being gay is all about. But I don’t think I’m the right person to show you any more. I come with too much baggage. What you should do is go to Liberty Avenue and see what’s there. It might be a little scary at first but so was coming here. Being gay doesn’t have to be something negative. When I discovered I was, it freed me from other people’s perceptions of who I should be. You’re not alone out there and once you experience Liberty Ave, you’ll realize that too.”

Justin nodded his head in understanding. Although a part of him wanted to experience everything he could with Ben, he also wasn’t quite ready for that. Maybe he would get up the courage to go down to Liberty in another month or two, he just needed a little more time. They talked for about ten more minutes and then Ben escorted him to the door.

“One day you’ll meet an amazing guy and everything will fall into place,” Ben assured him. Justin smiled back in response and after a chaste kiss on the lips, was out the door.

Justin never expected to see Ben Bruckner again but a couple of years later he was leaning against a bar with Brian and Ted and there he was with Michael. They greeted one another like strangers but there was a flicker of recognition in both of their eyes. He was still one of the most beautiful men Justin had ever seen. As Ben and Michael walked back out onto the dance floor, Justin was surprised to hear of Ben’s positive status. He hadn’t been lying about there being baggage. But instead of focusing on the news, Justin took a moment to relive that afternoon in Ben’s office. It had been the start of everything for him and as Brian snuggled in closer, Justin smiled knowing it wasn’t the end.

[User Picture]From: citizenjess
2005-04-02 06:26 am (UTC)
I found this to be a very interesting premise (and also a surprise, because I didn't remember which pairings I requested at all, to be perfectly honest). I hadn't ever really thought about Ben student teaching, but the timelines would work, and I could see Justin following him to the bathroom.

Thank you. :)
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[User Picture]From: luciblue
2005-04-04 04:29 am (UTC)
I think this was the first fic I read, and I really liked it.
Whoever wrote it made it work really well!
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[User Picture]From: qafhappy
2005-04-13 02:51 am (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: jasmynstote_bag
2007-12-05 11:11 pm (UTC)
This was a great story. I wasn't going to leave a comment, but I just had to let you know, this line, "When I discovered I was, it freed me from other people’s perceptions of who I should be." really touched me. I'm not gay, but I'm constantly looking for that thing, whatever it is that gives me permission to say that, and feel that, I guess. So thanks for verbalizing it (writing it) better than me. For me personally, theres a lot more attached to it, but thats a good way to start. So I'm keeping it in my mind. Thanks.
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